My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
