guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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