Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
