If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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