Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
They have beer where we have blood.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
