i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
