ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
