I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
