I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I need to align my fucking chakras
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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