btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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