No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize