I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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