No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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