In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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