Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
