I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
