Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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