Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize