I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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