well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I know her cup size but not her name....
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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