i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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