oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
