were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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