You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
