I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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