Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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