I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
