He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The air taste purple.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize