This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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