Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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