I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
