I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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