You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
