i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize