If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
