you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
