He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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