Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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