new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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