I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
