He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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