Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
the raccoons are back...
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