We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
