so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
