So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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