I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
