Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize