stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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