I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
