I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
