this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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