I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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