Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
ttyl tear gas
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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