Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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