His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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