i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
