More tranny stories later!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She bit a glass in half.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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